Apple tree

My body is an apple tree

The branches weave so far down my throat

I spend most days

attempting not to choke.

.

Yet

You can’t have a fire

Without any smoke – and I am burning.

.

My body is an apple tree

Some days the twigs expand,

entwining around my lungs

until I’m sure each breath will be my last.

.

Yet it will pass.

And the birds will still sing,

Each breath will become a wonderful thing

Though even the maggots

can see through my grin.

.

My body is an apple tree.

.

The fruit filled with allure,

An illusion of perfection

And rotten to the core

.

Inquisitive delusion, a lesson to learn

Visitors are plentiful, but never return

.

A lifetime of loneliness

Is no more than I’ve earned

.

A long time worn,

Yet the roots hold strong

Throughout internalised scorn

And the notion that I can never belong

Is it so wrong

.

To need some relief

A moment of weakness

A lifetime of grief

Unevolved from the child

Hiding under bed sheets

.

My body is an apple tree

.

Through the storm and the sun

The light and the dark

The old and the young

.

Entrapped in existence

With one final plea

My mind is in turmoil

.

My body an apple tree

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Home

You’re an independent woman

till you’re pushed to your knees,

As he pulls back your hair

His lips whispers please

.

And the voices are strong,

Screaming time to go home

Yet the memories that haunt

Are far worse when alone

.

Home houses the knifes,

Too accustomed to skin

You’ve swallowed them whole

Now they cut from within

.

And that full length mirror

Gave to you as a gift

Captured the moment

You first made yourself sick

.

Whilst Invisible ink

Surrounds your four walls

Every bad word you’ve spoken

Accessible to all

.

So you comply without haste

You don’t deserve any more

Take one shallow breath

And dissolve to the floor

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